Today has been a good day. I got a good sleep. Hung out with my great family. Took a long nap (I’ve been very tired lately) and dyed my baby girl’s hair (she is 13). I wanted to sit here and document something on my last day before turning the BIG 40! What has happened to me these last 30 years? Well, I grew up in a loving, worship pastor’s home, traveled a lot and lived in 8 homes, in Canada, California, Washington, and Detroit, graduated high school, studied vocal performance privately and in college, traveled the world as a singer and speaker for World Vision and Mission of Mercy, got married to a worship pastor-in-training, had two beautiful kids, was called by the Lord to write, started writing songs, moved to three churches, produced my first debut album, continued writing and performing, homeschooled our kids for 3 years, was gently nudged to lead worship more often, became the women’s director for our church, moved again as an act of faith, put our kids in public school, became a leader for a moms group, had much needed rest from ministry, got confused about songwriting, my purpose, and my calling, so after every resource was gone and every idea was spent, I prayed and God opened the door for me to be a worship pastor and a private music instructor. Because our church was in dire need of specific worship songs, my songwriting bug returned and I began writing again.
That is a lot of living in 30 years. What’s next? Hmm… Well, I’m getting more tired as I age, I have to dye my hair to cover grey. I can pass as a 30 something still, but definitely not a 20 something. My thinking has changed a bit. I’m definitely more seasoned which has been the byproduct of years of patience, humility, disappointment, knowledge, experience, and perseverance. I’m still someone who has too many ideas swimming in my head. I like moving forward. I don’t like being content with the same ol’. I am more excited as a worship leader, more patient and sanguine as a music teacher, more social with my children, more grown up as a wife, more focused as a songwriter, more prayerful as a child of God. What’s wrong with that? Nothing.
Yes, it’s hard to think I will be 40 stinkin’ years old tomorrow, but I like who I am now way better than who I was at 19.
My hope is that in the years to come, Lord willing, I will be closer to the Lord, moving in the Holy Spirit, more thankful for what God has blessed me with instead of always wanting more. I love my husband dearly, even though it doesn’t show too well when we are talking about finances, sorry babe. I want to play more and do life together. I love my kids deeply, even though they drive me up the wall with all of the questions and emotional outbursts, sorry kids. I want to play more and be present in their lives. I love my family members, even though most of them live far away. I want to write them letters more and find ways to spend time with them. I love to write songs, even though in the industry standards they are still not cutting it. I want to continue having songs flow out of me and write for my church because it brings me so much joy and deepens my understanding of God. I love being able to be a worship pastor, even though I don’t know how long this season will last. I want to follow God’s lead and grow this church up to be in love with Him and transformed by His glory. I love passing down what I know about singing, songwriting, and playing the piano, to the next generations coming up, even though it requires a lot of work and patience lol. I want to invest all of my experience into them so that they can become great at their musical abilities.
I won’t be able to eat the amazing food I use to. I won’t be able to shed the extra pounds that I use to. I will probably still need to take naps and drink coffee. But, that’s okay. Here’s to the next 40 years. I pray God will help me make each day count and never wasted.
Lara~
Praise the Lord for All He Has Done – Psalm 111
111 Shout praises to the Lord!
With all my heart
I will thank the Lord
when his people meet.
2 The Lord has done
many wonderful things!
Everyone who is pleased
with God’s marvelous deeds
will keep them in mind.
3 Everything the Lord does
is glorious and majestic,
and his power to bring justice
will never end.
4 The Lord God is famous
for his wonderful deeds,
and he is kind and merciful.
5 He gives food to his worshipers
and always keeps his agreement
with them.
6 He has shown his mighty power
to his people
and has given them the lands
of other nations.
7 God is always honest and fair,
and his laws can be trusted.
8 They are true and right
and will stand forever.
9 God rescued his people,
and he will never break
his agreement with them.
He is fearsome and holy.
10 Respect and obey the Lord!
This is the first step
to wisdom and good sense.[a]
God will always be respected.
From the Heart of a Songbird 