I got out of the habit of journaling for about a month now. I still read my Jesus Calling devotional and did my bible study in Jeremiah with my mom friends, but never felt like I had the time to journal.
Today, I started my day very anxious, stressed out and grumpy. Not a very good combination. I felt it was time to get back into sitting down with my bible and journal about my thoughts and about my devotions. Inside there was a battle going on, ‘I can’t sit down for an hour and journal. I have SO much to do today. Brian is sick, it is all on my shoulders. How am I going to get everything done?’ The best thing I did was vent my frustrations to God. I have come to believe He likes honesty because I had peace afterwards to rest and be with Him.
I thought I would share what I journaled today…
‘I am getting back into journaling again. My devotions are a life-line and I need God’s Presence to lighten the rest of my day. Yesterday’s Jesus Calling was really good so I want to write some of it down. Jesus Calling – “This is a time in your life when you must learn to let go : of loved ones, of possessions, of control. In order to let go of something that is precious to you, you need to rest in My Presence, where you are complete…As you relax more and more, your grasping hand gradually opens up, releasing your prized possession into My care. You can feel secure, even in the midst of cataclysmic changes, through awareness of My continual Presence. The One who never leaves you is the same yesterday, today, and forever. As you release more and more things into My care, remember that I never let go of your hand. Herein lies your security, which no one and no circumstances can take from you.”
(Today’s Jesus Calling) – “Let thankfulness temper all your thoughts. A thankful mindset keeps you in touch with Me. I hate it when My children grumble, casually despising My Sovereignty. Thankfulness is a safe guard against this deadly sin. Furthermore, a grateful attitude becomes a grid through which you perceive life…Cultivate a thankful heart, for this glorifies Me and fills you with Joy.”
1 Corinthians 10:10 “Nor discontentedly complain as some of them did…” (a good reminder for me)
Hebrews 12:28 “Let us receive a kingdom that is firm and stable and cannot be shaken, offer to God pleasing service and acceptable worship, with modesty and care and godly fear and awe.”
I am so glad God never leaves. That He is walking me through today.
I have a few things going on right now that are scary, uncertain, unanswered. And I found myself asking, ‘Why am I going through this again? Can You God, please let me know? It doesn’t make sense.’ And after all of my whining and frustration and fear I came to realize I was following God’s direction. I was doing what I felt God was asking me to do. So I continue on not in my own strength, but in God’s strength. The fear and uncertainty are beginning to fade and I finally feel like I can do this. = )