Back To Journaling ~

I got out of the habit of journaling for about a month now.  I still read my Jesus Calling devotional and did my bible study in Jeremiah with my mom friends, but never felt like I had the time to journal.

Today, I started my day very anxious, stressed out and grumpy.  Not a very good combination.  I felt it was time to get back into sitting down with my bible and journal about my thoughts and about my devotions.  Inside there was a battle going on, ‘I can’t sit down for an hour and journal.  I have SO much to do today.  Brian is sick, it is all on my shoulders.  How am I going to get everything done?’  The best thing I did was vent my frustrations to God.  I have come to believe He likes honesty because I had peace afterwards to rest and be with Him.

I thought I would share what I journaled today…

‘I am getting back into journaling again.  My devotions are a life-line and I need God’s Presence to lighten the rest of my day.  Yesterday’s Jesus Calling was really good so I want to write some of it down. Jesus Calling – “This is a time in your life when you must learn to let go : of loved ones, of possessions, of control.  In order to let go of something that is precious to you, you need to rest in My Presence, where you are complete…As you relax more and more, your grasping hand gradually opens up, releasing your prized possession into My care.  You can feel secure, even in the midst of cataclysmic changes, through awareness of My continual Presence.  The One who never leaves you is the same yesterday, today, and forever.  As you release more and more things into My care, remember that I never let go of your hand.  Herein lies your security, which no one and no circumstances can take from you.”

(Today’s Jesus Calling) – “Let thankfulness temper all your thoughts.  A thankful mindset keeps you in touch with Me.  I hate it when My children grumble, casually despising My Sovereignty.  Thankfulness is a safe guard against this deadly sin.  Furthermore, a grateful attitude becomes a grid through which you perceive life…Cultivate a thankful heart, for this glorifies Me and fills you with Joy.”

1 Corinthians 10:10 “Nor discontentedly complain as some of them did…”  (a good reminder for me)

Hebrews 12:28 “Let us receive a kingdom that is firm and stable and cannot be shaken, offer to God pleasing service and acceptable worship, with modesty and care and godly fear and awe.”

I am so glad God never leaves.  That He is walking me through today.

I have a few things going on right now that are scary, uncertain, unanswered.  And I found myself asking, ‘Why am I going through this again? Can You God, please let me know?  It doesn’t make sense.’  And after all of my whining and frustration and fear I came to realize I was following God’s direction.  I was doing what I felt God was asking me to do.  So I continue on not in my own strength, but in God’s strength.  The fear and uncertainty are beginning to fade and I finally feel like I can do this. = )

Lara~ & itunes

40 Day Media Fast Begins ~

August 8th, 2011 Was the first day of my “so called” fast. I had no idea what to expect. I didn’t know if God would speak to me and reveal all of life’s many secrets or if it was all in vain. Deep down I knew I would get something out of this time, but just wasn’t sure what it would be.

Now the Saturday before I thought I heard God’s voice ask me “If you can’t rest when you have the time to rest, how will you rest when you are busy?” I was pretty sure that was Him which helped me be obedient when I heard His voice again.

At 6:45am that Monday, God told me with the same voice, to get up to do my devotions. I resisted and said,’When am I going to get enough rest?’ He said, “I am your rest.” So reluctantly, but being obedient and open, I got up and went outside. I felt His presence with me and He continued to talk to me.

I also read from my Jesus Calling devotional and wrote in my journal everything that stood out to me from that day’s entry such as…”I speak to you from deepest heaven. You hear Me in the depths of your being. Deep calls unto deep. You are blessed to hear Me so directly. Never take this privilege for granted. The best response is a heart overflowing with gratitude. I am training you to cultivate a thankful mindset. This is like building your house on a firm rock, where life’s storms cannot shake you. As you learn these lessons, you are to teach them to others. I will open up the way before you, one step at a time.” (inspired by Psalm 42:7; Psalm 95:1-2; Matthew 7:24-25 in the bible)

What is interesting is that in the days to come I referred back to this again and again, underlining that which was speaking directly to me through God’s Spirit. I hold this Jesus Calling entry very dear to my heart.

Lara~ & itunes

I’m Back ~

I have been trying to figure out what to say after being away for over a month.

I basically took a “networking” fast for 40 days that started in August. It was an incredible experience that made me think I might have received a window into what it must be like to be in rehab. God showed me how much He loved me. He peeled away the yucky sin that was holding me back. Ouch! He showed me what it meant to have a peaceful heart. There is so much to write about… It is going to take me some time to formulate it all into words. I want to be able to share what I discovered here on my blog.

Let me begin by saying I had come to the end of myself while I was on vacation with my family. I was tired of being concerned about my new EP all the time. I didn’t want to constantly be on the computer answering emails, networking, promoting, etc… That was becoming more of a priority then my dear family. I knew I had a major problem when my daughter cheered in the car as we were heading out on our vacation, when I told her I wasn’t going to be bringing my computer on our trip! During our travels I looked at Brian and said I was burnt out. I had never really been burnt out except with the kids of course. It scared me. I was starting to become afraid of being fearful. I knew what I was going through was a spiritual battle. Brian listened patiently and suggested I take a 40 day fast from all of the networking and internet and seek after God. He is such a wise husband. = ) So when we got back from vacation that is what I did.

I started by finding a journal specifically for my fast where I could write about my quiet times with God. I wanted to be raw and honest with my emotions and with my conversations with God. I also made it a point to read a great devotional my dad gave to me called, “Jesus Calling,” by Sarah Young. She takes a different approach to the typical devotionals I had read. She writes them as if Jesus himself was talking directly to us. She refers to scripture at the end of each devotion. It amazed me how much God spoke through those each day.

I am going to stop there for now. The next time I write, I hope to share some of what He revealed to me worts and all. I hope you will be inspired and encouraged on your journey through this life as you read my blogs. I believe with all my heart that whatever God has done for me, He will do for you. He does not have any favorites.

Til next time…Be blessed

Lara~ & itunes