I haven’t been doing my devotions daily like I should have been. I justified it, telling God I had to get other things finished first before I could finally sit down with Him and give Him my utmost attention. He didn’t buy it. lol. I’ve been managing pretty well in my own strength, yes, still praying for help and direction, but through the nonstop of each day.
I finally woke up this morning at 5am because of back pain, went into the other room to sleep, and frustration started to well up inside of me. I started becoming frustrated with all sorts of things, why this and why that… I felt a nudge to go do my devotions, but I didn’t want to. I wanted sleep. I wanted my way. I cried out to God all that was frustrating me and you know what His Spirit said? “Be patient and wait. Read Jesus Calling.” (He said some other stuff that has to stay between Him and I) = ) I knew my soul needed to be helped, so I read yesterday’s and today’s. I don’t know why this happens sometimes, but there have been specific days when the devotion in this book has spoken directly to my situation. How does He do that!? Here is what I wrote down from today’s devotion:
Jesus Calling, “Trust Me enough to let things happen without striving to predict or control them. Relax and refresh yourself in the Light of My everlasting love. My love-light never dims (great lyric btw!), yet you are often unaware of My radiant Presence. When you project yourself into the future, rehearsing what you will do or say, you are seeking to be self-sufficient: to be adequate without My help. *This is a subtle sin-so common that it usually slips by unnoticed. The alternative is to live fully in the present, depending on Me each moment. Rather than fearing your inadequacy, rejoice in My abundant supply. Train your mind to seek My help continually, even when you feel competent to handle something by yourself….Learn to rely on Me in every situation. This discipline will enable you to enjoy life more and to face each day confidently.”
You see, now that I have an album out, the industry “virtual blue book” says to promote, get out there, book, make contacts, yada yada yada… But God is saying “Trust Me enough to let things happen without striving to predict or control them.” Kind of counter-intuitive. Yes, it is important to share this album with the people in my life, but when I start to dwell on the industry “blue book” I get pretty frustrated and anxious. I also start rating myself and my ministry against it. Notice the “ME and MY?”
God is the Great Orchestrator! He told me this morning to be patient and wait; basically trust. He also said (which I forgot to mention) that His ways are different than the world’s ways. God’s standards are different than the world’s standards. There have been many blessings already because of this worship album. God has been able to use it to minister to the needs of others and I have had the honor of hearing about some of them! For me, it isn’t so much about the “album” and about “my career” as it is about where God wants to use it for His glory. Which brings me to the question, “what is my purpose?” Remember that from my last post?
Well, I’ve discovered some key notes on the subject that I am working out. Here they are thus far:
1) To be God’s servant (wherever He needs me and for whatever reason)
2) To disciple others (encourage, build up, nurture, teach)
3) To be under God’s authority with reverential fear and
4) Follow Him (AHHHH the Title to my album!) So cool!
Scripture Verse: Deuteronomy 10:12 “And now, Israel, (God’s people), what does the Lord your God ask of you but to fear the Lord your God, to walk in obedience to Him, to love Him, to serve the Lord your God will all your heart and with all your soul.”
I’m not totally ready to reveal my purpose statement yet, but those are four things I definitely want to include in it. = )
Just some random thoughts for today that I wanted to share. God bless you as you continue to discover more about God in your life.